The Unconventional Guide to Birthdays
Updated: Oct 16, 2019
So I'm now 35 today! Yep. That half mile to 70 years old. Some people older than 35, might be saying, "Oh to be 35 again" ** casting their mind back.
But I generally dread my birthday, something always happens or just before to make it more rubbish. Previously birthdays, I've been dumped twice on two separate birthdays, one was my 30th! This year, unfortunately, I became single a few weeks before (totally another blog when I'm ready). I'm not sure if it's my expectation of being spoilt or treated to something. a surprise maybe or whisked off my feet.
ITS MY PITY BIRTHDAY PARTY
Maybe it's me that just feels this way, but I remember waking up when younger (a lot younger) being so excited. Knowing there will be cake, presents, and friends around. But when you're older you buy what you want as you have your own money, friends have plans and commitments. And cake.....think of the calories!
I think mostly this has to do with my sense of achievement. At my age, I see friends I went to school with and they have husbands, kids, they own their own house (god damn Facebook ** waves fist in the air). I compare myself with other people and what they have versus me. If you asked me at 21 years old, where would I be in 14 years time. Maybe I'd be in a long-term relationship, probably had kids, have a job I love. I think that's the sadness I have on my birthday. Looking at the glass half full. I know, I know, I'm a life coach and I should be positive. I'm aware of what I should do. But it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want too, one day of the year I get to have a mini pity party.
So I've done some research and I thought I'd share with you some of the techniques I'm going to try this year to keep me sane and deflate the pity party balloons.
START AS YOU MEAN TO GO ON
Wake up with a special breakfast. If that's a Macy Ds breakfast, a greasy spoon fry-up or a posh continental breakfast. It's your birthday, you chose. While having that breakie, write down all of the gifts you received already. mine would be my family, friends and my dog Tilly. Then start with some positive affirmations to read out while getting ready.
IF I WANT A TRAMPOLINE PARTY AT 35, I'LL HAVE ONE
What do you want to do to celebrate? is it a quiet meal with friends, a walk, and picnic, theme park, trip or weekend away? You decide what is your best experience. It's your birthday...treat yo self.
IF YOU'RE EXPECTED NOTHING FROM ANYONE, YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED
If you know your birthday won't be one like the Sweet 16 shows and there won't be a diamond necklace on the kitchen table. Or the postman won't have postbag full of cards. Manage those expectations, set them low and anything higher will be a dream and so amazing. You will have 2 cards and people on Facebook you haven't spoken to or seen in years wishing you a happy birthday. that's still 2 cards some other people won't get, those Facebook friends took time out of their day to message you. Be grateful for that.
BUSY IS THE NEW HAPPY
Keep busy on your birthday. Speak to your friends. Arrange to meet up, have coffee, go for drinks, get a treatment, play golf, go to the cinema. Whatever it is. Plan to do a few things. But don't over plan...nothing worse than putting additional pressure on yourself. So find that right balance. Keep things simple so you don't risk those expectations being dashed.
THE PAST CANNOT BE CHANGED
THE FUTURE IS YET IN YOUR POWER
That sadness of achievements and not fulfilling your potential. What are your goals, what achievements do you have? Write them down NOW!! What are you waiting for New Years and your resolutions, no! Now's the time. Nothing to look forward to, plan a holiday or a trip to see a friend, take a course to learn something new and take those steps to meet your dreams. Fill that glass half full and make your next birthday one hell of a kick-ass celebration and achieving what you wanted.
I'm planning a trip with a friend and our doggies to the coast, hoping to plan a trip to the US to see some friends and getting more focused with this blog and future podcast. If I can do it and kick myself up the butt, then I'm sure you can too.
Through my research, Birthday Depression is a real thing. So don't feel ashamed of it (even if you are a life coach!). Just try and focus on positive things, what you can control and what makes you happy. Remember it's your birthday so treat yo self, pamper yourself and most importantly love yourself.
Do you have any tips on coping with birthdays? Would ove to hear from you.
Remember Mission You offers life coaching on focusing your energies on your goals if you know them or not. So why not treat your self to a couple of sessions with Mission You. Its only £12 per meeting.